Toon Link's Epic Tale
by TheTwilightWarrior
Summary: *For 0107 Best Devices Contest* Re-done! Only slightly. Toon Link has an epic tale, with llamas, penguins and the Four-Eyed Reef Junk Yard.


**Hiya! *For 0107's contest* I've never entered a contest before... If it's a fail... Oh well! It will be childishly written, only because I always thought that humor and childish writing go hand and hand. **

***Rewritten***

**Yes I know it's soon to rewrite this, but after Foxpilot reviewed me (Sorry I didn't reply, the link was broken) I thoroughly read over his criticism, because I love constructive criticism, and decided that he was right. The Four-Eyed Reef Junk Yard was not played with enough, and there are more things that could have been taken. Thank you very much Foxpilot, and I hope I didn't screw this up... But if I did, someone tell me so that I may change it back! It's only a little change, and despite the good reviews, I'd like to try furthering my chances. So here goes!**

**Disclaimer: Nintendo owns everything. Except George and Bob.**

Toon Link, the name in front of a name. This is his epic tale.

Link, Ike and Marth all sat tied to chairs. (They wouldn't agree to listen)

"So." The sugar-high hero began. "Since you all wanted to hear my story so badly, I've decided to-Llamas!-Tell you."

Several muffled noises of rejection could be heard coming from the three warriors. (Did I forget to mention they were gagged? Silly me!)

"Good, so. Let's begin!"

More muffled screams.

"So it all started on Dragon Roost Island..."

Toon Link happliy skipped out of Dragon Roost, the sun was shining on the Great Sea casting a beautiful glow on the water. He had been listening to Medli playing her harp. Doing what he usually did when she played: Think about why someone would name their half-bird daughter Medli. It looked so much like medley, chicken medley. It was just wrong.

But as he stopped to look at his glorious boat, The King of Red Loins, he realized that his beloved boat was missing!

Who would do such an unholy crime! It was his boat! His only form of transportation!

As he wracked his mind for a solution to the problem, he did not notice a llama fly up and land in front of him.

"Hello young hero."

Toon Link looked up to find himself eye to eye with a llama. And not just any llama, no, this one had an unusually deep overly-played-super-hero-voice, cleft chin and a cape with a big blue G on it.

"... Hello?" Said a dumbfounded Toony. "Who are you?"

"I'm George, the flying llama." The llama, presumably named George said. "I've come to help you find your boat."

"Oh!" Toony paused, thinking over the past fifteen seconds. His boat had been stolen, a llama named George was offering to help him find the boat. Nope, he shouldn't be confused at all, or worryed. "Well, where is it?"

"Where's what?" Mr. llama said.

"My boat."

"What boat?"

"The boat you promised you would help me find!" He said, getting annoyed.

"I haven't the slightest idea what your talking about." Said a very confused George.

The odd duo continued to stare at each other, before a penguin jumped off of George's back.

"Oh, let me guess. Your Bob the pengiuin, right?" Toony asked, suspecting a no of course.

The little penguin smiled before replying. "Yep! That's me. Bob the penguin, side kick to George the llama. Nice to meet you!" He extended a fipper in the polite gesture of a hand shake. Toony excepted and the two shook hands, er... Flipper, and hand... Nothing weird about today.

"So... You two are gonna help me find my boat?" Toony asked, a swell of hope rising in his chest.

George smiled. "Of course we will! Only, finding your boat won't be so bad... In fact, we already know where it is!" The llama stated matter-of-factly.

"Really? Where is it!" He asked, getting more excited by the minute.

Bob stepped forward. "It's at the Four-Eyed Reef Junk Yard."

Toony, being surprised that they already knew so much about his missing boat. Took a minute to process this new information. "How do you know that?" He asked.

Bob pointed behind the short hero to a sign that read: _No parking. Violators will be towed to, Four-Eyed Reef Junk Yard. 1-800-555-5555. _With a picture of a boat being hauled away. "That's how."

"Soooo... We just go there, right?" Toony asked, wondering how he had missed that sign...

"Yep, just play the Ballad of Gales and we should be close enough..." George said.

"Are you sure?" Toony mumbled, as he reached for his beloved Wind Waker, only to find it also missing. "What the-!" He yelled, a mixture of anger and confusion. After further investigation, the trio found a sign, sewn on to Toony's back pocket that read...

_Wind Wakers may not be placed here. Violators will be taken to, Four-Eyed Reef Junk Yard. 1-800-555-5555._

"You've got to be kidding me..." Toony said, as he slapped his head with the palm of his hand. "What else will they take?" Realizing the urgency of the problem, Toony quickly scanned the area for any other signs of missing objects. Seeing nothing out of place, he was about to breathe a sigh of relief until...

"Where's Bob!" George panicked, looking right and left for his friend. The two remaining mammals searched for their feathered friend. Only to find yet another sign that read...

_Small, unrealistically written, talking penguins may not be placed here. Violators will be taken to, Four-Eyed Reef Junk Yard. 1-800-555-5555._

"This. Ends. Here." George said, an inhuman... Excuse me, an in_llama_ darkness covering his face. "Toon Link, climb on my back and hold on tight." The small hero did as told, only to realize...

"Um... George?" He mumbled, raising an eyebrow at what was sure to give the llama a heart-attack.

"Yes?"

"Your... Fur is... Gone." He said, slowly climbing off the now naked llama. Said llama looked himself over, his fur was indeed gone. His pink skin exposed, an all to familiar sign on his back that read: _Llama fur may not be placed here. Voilators will be shaved, the fur sent to, Four-Eyed Reef Junk Yard. 1-800-555-5555._

"How dare they!" George yelled, trying to cover himself with his cape.

"How did we not notice that...?" Toony asked, scratching his head in deep thought.

"We must leave right n-!" The nude llama was cut off by the sudden group of Rito, who had just appeared there, without any warning. Leaving the llama to turn many shades of red under their disapproving glares.

Toony looked down, they were all standing on a gigantic sign that read: _Islands may not be placed here. Violators will be taken to, Four-Eyed Reef Junk Yard, 1-800-555-5555._

"This is getting to be a little too much." Toony said, examining the sign.

"A 'little' too much? This is horrid! We must set out to this place at once!" The llama got back on all fours after completing his very short speech. "Get back on, Toon Link."

The hero grimaced. "But your..."

"I'm a llama! We are never naked, we're just to awesome to be naked!" He cut in.

Toony shrugged and climbed on, how could he argue with llama-logic?

And so, they set off. The wind beat against Toonys face making it difficult to see where they were going, but he trusted the llama's judgment. Strange as it may seem.

After fifteen minutes of awkwardly flying on the llama's back. Trying not to think of the lack of logic in the picture (A green-clad boy, flying on a naked llamas back) They finally reach Four-Eyed Reef Junk Yard (1-800-555-5555)

"They've got to be here somewhere..." George said. Looking for the needed items. Suddenly, a group of Bulblins were dropped down on them, the foul beasts snarled and glared at the two. Toony unsheathed his sword. "Are you ready for this, George?" He asked, standing back to back with said llama.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

The battle started, Toony slashed away, mowing down every Bulblin in sight. George backing him up with his epic one-two llama punches. The pair, easily took care of the monsters.

They proceded to explore the strange place. The two stared in awe at all the things surrounding them. A pair of deflated soccer balls, at least three obviously well used tooth-brushes, and an... Apple Bee's employee? Indeed, a waiter stood there, obediently holding his tray. (They choose to ignore this)

They continued walking... Only to have the boss come out.

"You've done well to make it this far." He said, his strange voice forcing Toony to strain not to laugh. "But this is as far as you'll come."

The fight ensued. (Pardon my poor battle writing) Toony easily dodging every attack dealt. With ease they defeated the horrid man responsible for all the stolen items. And were reunited with their friend and items.

And so, Toony now sails the seas. With his wind waker in hand, steering his beloved boat and gazing at Dragon Roost Island.

Never to forget his epic adventure with George the llama and Bob the penguin.

...

...

"Toony, were you spacing out about llamas and penguins again?" Medli asked the hero seated next to her. Who was supposed to be 'listening' to her play.

"Huh wha?" He asked, lazily opening one eye... It was all a dream...? He quickly checked his back pocket for the Wind Waker. _Wind Wakers may not be placed here. Violators will be taken to, Four-Eyed Reef Junk Yard. 1-800-555-5555._

"NOOOOOO!"

_Everybody Hates Toony._

"And that is my epic tale."

All three battle hardened men were on the floor, near tears. Toony casually strolled up to them and untied them. All three immediately jumped from the floor and ran out of the room.

Toony got a smug look on his face. "I knew they'd love it!"

**Not very much change... Did I screw it up? I'm sorry if I did. But at least let me know so that I can change it. And thanks again Foxpilot!**

**Oh yeah, I don't own Apple Bee's.**

**I know what your thinking. What did I just read. Well, you just read my first conest entry. Sooo, please be nice and please don't flame... I hope it was random enough... I guess it was more LoZ than SSBB... But I couldn't think of anything but llamas!**

**~TheTwilightWarrior**


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